July 7 Sandnessjoen Norway

 The Doctor of Divinty continues to take your questions:

#4 Do you get lonely?

Yes, I get lonely. But is it the overwhelming emotion of this trip? No. Joy is.

Loneliness is part of life. We crave connection and like to be part of something larger than ourselves. That is why it feels so good to sing together in community, whether it’s at a Shabbat service or a Taylor Swift concert.

The first moment that I was aware of feeling lonely on this trip came on day 14 of being away from home, which was day 10 of biking. That’s pretty far into the trip!

It was the end of the day and as I turned into the campground, I was disappointed that there were no other cyclists there. I imagined what fun it would be to make dinner with other people and then sit around and talk.

It felt like a good night for Stone Soup; you know the story, right? Three travelers arrive in a village with nothing but three stones and a large pot. They inspire the villagers to contribute - potatoes, parsnips, noodles, bok choy and so on.

When the soup is done, “the carrots having made the broth especially sweet,” the villagers sit around and share an amazing meal that they made together. Community. Connection.

It felt like a perfect moment, for a night from Amy’s bike trips, when Eric cooks dinner and Tate assists, and we eat pasta and drink wine, and stay up late playing Hearts.

But no one was at this quiet campground in Norway, and so I set up my tent, took a shower, made my ramen with carrots from my Bicycle Banana Holder (patent pending), went to sleep, woke up, and got back to riding, and the lonely feeling had passed. Joy returned.

I will tell you when I have felt a deep loneliness, an abiding loneliness, that did not pass as quickly.

When I was married, I was lonely. That loneliness was worse, because I didn’t expect it. I thought marriage would shield me from loneliness.

Another painful loneliness often hits me in my house in Boulder. I created my home thinking it would be an oasis I would share with my children and it didn’t work out that way.

But when I’m in Utah for the winter, or on a bike trip in Norway, my kids are not supposed to be there, and so I don’t feel their absence as strongly.

Would I rather be doing this bike trip with someone else? Sure! Swipe right! Please forward your suggestions! I would love to find an adventure partner who likes to do the same activities I do and likes the same style of trip.

How wonderful it would be to share this amazing adventure with another person, to marvel together in awe of the incredible vistas, laugh at the funny road signs, help each other up the steep hills in the rain, and fly together down the long winding hills down to the fjord.

But I am not going to wait to find someone who likes to do this kind of adventure. If I wait, I might never get to ride.

So you ask if I am lonely out here:

I have moments of loneliness, but life has moments of loneliness.

And out here, the loneliness is less painful than it is at home.

My overriding emotion on this trip is joy.